I have friends who “save” HUNDREDS of dollars a month clipping coupons. But despite my best efforts, I’ve never been able to get the hang of using them. For those like ME, and not my coupon-clipping pals: this poem’s for you!

“Coupons” by Sara Marie Allen

I’m not a coupon diva or a clipping queen,
But I aspire to save myself a little bit of green.
When the Sunday news arrives, intimidated by this sport,
I scan each page quite carefully, and clip and coupon sort.
I try to get all organized and start to make a plan,
And hope I don’t leave them at home on my desk again.
With fistfuls of “free money,” I’m determined not to fail,
But often lose them as I go, like Gretel’s paper trail.
And when I find the item I have the coupon for,
The brand that’s still far cheaper is the one sold by the store.
By then, I do not want it, and sigh in pure frustration.
I dumbly stuff them in my purse, with mounting consternation.
The worst is when, at check out, I forget to hand them in,
And the sticker shock of purchase voids the deals I’ll never win.
This coupon queen’s retired, with my cancelled news subscription–
And stress-free, deal-free shopping is my hopeful acquisition.